just another outburst

Got a word play again.. As I was asked if I was in a relationship. Said that I was out of it  and had broken up a few months back.. but yes.. may have been “in love” but not really in love.. It got my ol time friend confused if I was in love but wasnt in it or “in a love that I wasnt particularly digging it in.,
          
Does it make sense? it wont. It never will. As most love dont.  but lemme clarify anyways. I found a love that fitted me oh so snugly that i actually thought it was one that I had been waiting for. Ahh all the relationships I had I saw the ending. I saw it from the start knowing that I was never really meant to keep it for the longest time. You know.. a relationship that you do not built the foundations of forever. knowing that sooner than later it will pass. The kind that you just let flounder for the longest time. For all of that I apologize. My heart may have been in it but destiny doesnt have plans of forever for that relationship. Sometimes it happens. And try as hard as I wanted to write forever on that, I wasnt one lucky enough to write it with the conviction it needed. Until now. I saw met and encountered the one, the forever. Too late that I found out that another forever was written already and it wasnt me in it.
     
Hard now to untangle what is here and what i want to happen and harder still how to reset everything that I could walk away unscathed or in one piece without this heartache.
            
So how now brown cow? where do I go from here? Stating to the world, I AM “IN LOVE” .. true…. but i am not in love.
Ahhh just another word play.  But fate does play so cruel at times.
              

There is a fine line between fate and coincidence…… 
I chanced upon this one I call “forever” beloved” and “seraph”
With eyes that shines all glory and heaven’s cradle. 
I thought that it was mine to keep if i work at it.
Despite the odds that I will face I do not waver
But there is a time when even I wake up
And realize life would not deal me this cards this time
Though sweet and gentle and fitting it could be
I am resigned to the fate that “beloved” will never be mine.
Revisiting Forever…
I thought I closed this door a long long time ago. And yet encounter after encounter finds me wanting to write my sorrows again. The urge to shout to the world. I LOVE YOU. And it seems that rainy days and gloomy dawns bring that. What would this world hold when the least of all chances had gone snuffed and shackled and lost. When there is no more chance, Does one lose hope as well?
     
    
If only time will tell me but time seems to have opted not to speak to me anymore. And if it ever did, I was too too busy straining to hear to ever listen.
All gone all gone all gone save one. I am still in love.
I may die of it but the seraph continues to haunt me
      
 
Forever stays……………….