If ever I would leave you………………

If ever I would leave you
It wouldn’t be in summer.
Seeing you in summer I never would go.
Your hair streaked with sun-light,
Your lips red as flame,
Your face witha lustre
that puts gold to shame!

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I’m bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!

This song hit me the other day. I just realized that my life had been a roller coaster again. Nothing new! Been there! Done that! Except that even when you’ve done it a million times – even when you had gone through love and back and back again, the journey is never the same, the rules never the same and the pleasure as well as the pain always new to experience. Old formula to get you by and get you the glorified position of being loved while loving back with all your heart and soul, without being hurt turns out to be another false assurance that one alludes to so that you could reconcile your little security blanket – that the blanket is there after all. So going back to my itty bitty story why this story hit me. I just realized that late last year I met someone I that turned my life upside down then right side up. One that I didn’t think will happen to me again. Why would one choose to be in love? Why would one choose to give your right hand, left hand and sanity in a bag for someone else to hold. All this while you’re hoping that the holder of this bag will be gentle and caring enough to realize that my own cherished feeling are all there for one to trash burn, care for and keep.

And yet I did – trust.

Will it be worth it? Will it last? I don’t know and should it ever be so. I will be grateful. Otherwise I will move on to realize (after suffering a million small deaths for the rest of natural and unnatural life) that I will only need myself after all.

More to come – in love state. Which means I don’t write well…. Hmm this means that I think I write well – how presumptive of me. I don’t write well. But I write worse in the state of soporific love. Who can blame me? Why write when you can do…… and for those who do…. You know what I mean……

Last words – DO. It may not come again. Those who live realize that there is more to life than the net. Those who net? – aim to catch something J

TO close this out – If ever I would leave you… Don’t ever leave anyone in a time or a place or a scenario that will mar it. Sunsets, sunrise, window side view of the splendor of a cloud formation, arrrrrrrrgh – you are likely to want to see and feel that again. Don’t use your favorite resto or park or hangout place either you would want to go back there right? …..Use the bathroom, a corner alley you never want to go to, a restaurant you are allergic to the food. For a timeframe – what about 11:37AM or 3:54PM  - that’s inconsequential enough for you never to mind. It makes for less pain, less memories .. remember – this world isn’t really big enough for all your love trials .. there are only so many places, there is only one sunset, one sunrise,, only 24 hours a day J ….. make the best of what you got …….. or better yet … If ever I would leave you? .. I would never .. I cherish the sunrise, sunset, morning noon and night with you… dusk and dawn.. high places and low life places… rain or shine….. ….

Make sense of that!!!